


For Those Spared He Will Bleed

by sarilleny



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Drabble, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Angst, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarilleny/pseuds/sarilleny
Summary: Premise: [A short time after Tony returns to Earth] Steve wants to talk about this supposed ENDGAME. Tony has yet to come to terms with his role in creating or completing said ENDGAME. Also Thor.





	For Those Spared He Will Bleed

**Author's Note:**

> The only two people who made Thanos BLEED were the two who’s lives were SPARED for handing over an Infinity Stone.

 

“It’s over Cap. It’s done. _I’m done.”_  
  
“Tony… don’t do this to yourself.” Steve tries. 

He gets the sense that Steve isn’t really hearing his words.  
  
“The kid… _everyone_ … it’s not your fau—“

 _“You don’t get it.”_ Tony snaps. He looks up, meets Steves eyes for a beat, then tears them away. His hands drop to his sides—they are shaking again. He tries his best to tame it.  
_  
_ “Dammit Tony.” Steve picks up again, “we can’t just give up now. I know you’re hurting. I lost people too. _Everyone._ _Lost._ _Someone. That doesn’t mean—_

 “Shut up! Just shut up Cap. I told you I’m done. _I can’t… I… I can’t—“ But then Steve is talking over him, and Tony can barely breath over the tight pain in his throat._

 "—isn’t just about you Tony! We don’t quit. _We can’t._ Not now. We have to _fight_ for the Endgame. You don’t get to make this all about _you_ —because you saw it coming—because you think you tried the hardest, and it wasn’t enough. _No._ We are going to take this fight back to Thanos and make it right, _or by god we’ll die trying._ _YOU said there’s an endgame we can win. YOU SAID—_ ”  
  
“NO! _NO. STOP IT! YOU DON’T FUCKING GET IT STEVE! You don’t…_ THE ENDGAME IS _ME!”_

He falters then realizing he’s said it out loud. His breath is hard, over a wild thumping in his chest, and the edges of vision are blurring white as panic begins to grip him completely. Steve is staring wide eyed and confused across from him, and then it’s all spilling out at once, ragged and desperate. “FUCK. _Fuck. It’s me. It’s my fault, it’s…_ He traded…. _Strange TRADED the stone for MY LIFE. To spare MY life, he… oh god. He… billions..._ billions upon billons of lives of...” Tony stops, and looks up at Steve. It’s a reflex, he’s terrified of what he’ll find there. Steve is standing stock still, his expression impossible to read—something between pity and disgust, probably. He’s not sure, he just know that it hurts. Everything hurts.

A guttural half sob escapes his lips. He’s staring down at his knee, not sure when he’d slid to the floor. Moments pass without a sound until Tony can stand the deafening silence anymore. “The endgame is a _lie._ I… They’re all… dead. _I killed them. There is no plan! NOTHING._ I don’t… I don’t know how to do it. I _don’t know anything. God,_ I can’t… _I can’t do it Steve. I don’t know how to save them…_ I… don’t know why I’m _alive_. I don’t… I should be dead. _I should be—_

 _“Tony.”_ Steve finally says. _It’s gentle. Quiet and unsure._

 _“DON’T.” T_ ony echos back, surprised at the strength of his own voice. _“DON’T.”_ He says again. _“There’s nothing you can say. I’m DEATH._ I’m a curse. _You can’t POSSIBLY imagine wha—_  
  
**_“It’s a fate worse than death.”_**

The world comes to a slamming halt at _that_ voice. It bellows at his back.

**_“A fate that leaves you begging to die—to join those you slaughtered by continuing to exist.”_ **

Tony is frozen in place, trembling as the words gut him worse than the shiv did at Thanos’ hand. _That voice_ —he’d thought it long faded into death or dust.

 _“You mourn each soul who’s left you, and in the same breath curse them for leaving you in such bitter agony while they rest in eternal sleep. And you wonder, if they have truly found peace, or if you have cursed them to an infinite hell **—I KNOW STARK.”**_  
  
A hand, firm, and warm, and steady, grips his shoulder—something tight in his chest loosens, and threatens to spill in sobs and sliver of hope.

Tony finally looks up over his shoulder. Thor is kneeling beside him.  
  
“I too was spared for an Infinity Stone. Loki… _He… traded the Space Ston_ e... for _my life_.”  
  
Tony can’t do more than meet his eyes, but in that moment he feels he’s been found.  
  
“Rogers. Allow me some time with Stark. There is much we must discuss.”  
  
In his periphery, Tony catches the captain nod, and sees him fade out of view and away, then Thor moves round to face him.

  
  
“Tony… the Endgame—it’s not you. **_It’s us.”_**

**Author's Note:**

> By the hands of those SPARED, Thanos will BLEED.


End file.
